A Dusty Bible Reveals a Dirty Life

by Heather Myer

Taking the back way from Grand and Glenstone through the streets of Springfield in attempts to reach South 65 allows one to drive past five churches. These churches each have message boards that share snip-its of wisdom to the masses in the manner of a fortune cookie. They are unavoidable. Trite sayings like “A DUSTY BIBLE REVEALS A DIRTY LIFE” can both convict slackers and encourage a good house cleaning. Cautions such as “BEWARE THE HIGH COST OF LOW LIVING” cause confusion. Is this a challenge to be financially thrifty or to avoid a lurid life of sin? “THE FIERY FURNACE OF HELL IS VERY HOT INDEED!” can make one wonder how exactly the author would be so familiar with the finer qualities of Hades. It can also inspire a trip to the sauna on a cold day. Clever play-on words such as, “SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT CHURCH MAKES ONE WEAK” actually make drivers recall early memories of elementary school lessons on homonyms and plurality. Rarely the messages can be encouraging, “THE BIBLE THAT IS FALLING APART IS OWNED BY A CHRISTIAN THAT ISN’T.” Or perhaps the owner accidentally left it the car on a hot summer’s day and the binding melted. Hrm…(guilty pause)...yes, Mum, this is the real reason why a new Bible is on my Christmas list.

Church message boards are often filled with irritating and impolite clichés. Rather than inspire readers to dive into the word, they can be left feeling annoyed and occasionally insulted. Give us scripture! A Proverb or a Psalm to think of on our way to work. Perhaps a prayer request to lift up as we drive past. Even a community event for the public is a nice touch. At least post the service times so by-passers will know when worship occurs. If believers find these messages irksome, how much more annoyed would unbelievers find them? Would the lost really be tempted to attend a church after reading an insulting message? After all, another infamous cliché states, “IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.”

Read what Pastor Dennis has to say about church signs.